THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD THAT...

....I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

...if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to ask, "You or me".

....parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

....a truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico.

....Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

Only in America

....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

....do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

....do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why are apartments all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?