Beer ~vs~ Pussy

A beer is always wet.

A pussy needs encouragement.

Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.

A pussy tastes better served hot.

Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.

Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.

Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.

Pussy does not.

Advantage: Draw.

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.

Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.

A pussy is a box you can come in.

Advantage: Pussy.

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.

Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.

Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad.

If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.

Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not drive.

6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.

Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.

Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.

Advantage: Draw

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.

You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.

Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.

If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.

Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.

Advantage: beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.

Advantage: beer.

Pussy can make you see God.

Beer can make you see the porcelain God.

Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.

If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.

Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.

Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.

Advantage: Pussy.

If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.

If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.

Advantage: Draw

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.

If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.

Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.

Advantage: beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.

Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.

Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.

Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.

Advantage: Draw

Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian's Red

Good pussy: Almost all but the above.

Advantage: Pussy.

The government taxes beer.

Advantage: Pussy.

It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.

Advantage: Pussy.